Are You Too Picky in Love? How ‘The Ick’ Might Be Ruining Your Dating Life

Have you ever been on a date where everything seems perfect until one small thing turns you off completely? Maybe they laugh a little too loudly, mispronounce a common word, or chew their food in a way that irks you. Suddenly, your interest evaporates. This phenomenon, known as “the ick,” is a psychological aversion to minor quirks that can lead to abrupt romantic rejection.

The Science Behind ‘The Ick’

‘The ick’ has become a viral topic on social media, with #theick videos racking up billions of views on TikTok. But what causes this sudden switch from attraction to repulsion? A study from Azusa Pacific University, published in Personality and Individual Differences (Feb 5, 2025), delves into the psychology behind it.

Researchers define ‘the ick’ as an aversion to a romantic partner triggered by seemingly insignificant behaviors rather than major red flags. While some icks may indicate genuine incompatibility, many are based on superficial judgments. The study found that women often experience ‘the ick’ due to traits perceived as socially awkward or “feminine,” while men are put off by excessive trendiness or vanity.

Who Gets ‘The Ick’ the Most?

The study examined 125 single adults, assessing their personality traits and how they experience ‘the ick.’ Key findings include:

Highly disgust-sensitive individuals were the quickest to feel repulsed by minor quirks, linking their aversion to both physical and behavioral traits.
Narcissists weren’t more prone to ‘the ick,’ but when they experienced it, they were more likely to completely reject potential partners.
Perfectionists experienced ‘the ick’ more frequently, often rejecting partners over trivial flaws.

Women were more familiar with the term (63% vs. 39% of men) and reported experiencing it more (75% vs. 57%). However, when men did get ‘the ick,’ they felt it just as strongly. Women were mostly triggered by misogynistic behavior and annoying speech, while men were put off by appearance-related issues.

The Relationship Impact of ‘The Ick’

Once ‘the ick’ sets in, it’s usually irreversible:

26% of individuals ended the relationship immediately after experiencing ‘the ick.’
42% broke up later due to lingering feelings of aversion.
92% told friends or family about their ‘ick,’ yet only 28% confronted their partner about it.

Social media is amplifying ‘the ick,’ making minor turn-offs seem like deal-breakers. Viral videos mocking behaviors like “Shazamming a song” or “holding a fork weirdly” are reinforcing these knee-jerk rejections. Pop culture has fueled this trend for years—think Monica in Friends or Jerry in Seinfeld, both notorious for breaking up over trivial quirks.

Should You Reconsider Your Ick?

The study presents a paradox: ‘The ick’ can help identify real incompatibilities, but it can also cause people to discard great potential partners over minor flaws. Researchers note, “Even if a partner has desirable traits, one small quirk can trigger rejection.” This may explain why dating feels harder despite endless options.

If you keep catching ‘the ick,’ ask yourself: is this a genuine red flag, or just a silly pet peeve? No one is perfect, and today’s cringe-worthy habit might become tomorrow’s inside joke.